BEING ALONE SUCKS!

How can I be "in love with my life" when I'm alone, but don't want to be, travelling and going to events by myself when I'd love to have a man by my side; when the man I thought was my lover doesn't seem to have the capacity or the interest in having a loving relationship but just wanted a sexual one; when I'm usually broke and work hard all the time; when I'm in my late 60's and wish I were back in my 40's; when my brother isn't speaking to me; when my mother is paralyzed on her right side and destined live out her life in a nursing home which is 3000 miles away from where I live; when my connection with my stepchildren is polite but not satisfying or loving; when my connection with my grandchildren is loving but not often.... it is a long list, isn't it?

Holy moly! Am I EVER feeling sorry for myself?!?!

What if I accepted the premise that I somehow co-created ALL the results in my life?

What?!? I created a series of circumstances in which I am widowed, still "alone" five years after my husband died, broke and still broke most of my life, ruptured relationships with various members of my family, etc., etc.???

Yep. I did.

Soooo...if I totally own the results in my life, is it possible that I see that I have co-created the results in my life for my own benefit and growth? Is it possible that I can see everything as some kind of gift?

Yes. It is possible.

Is it easy? No.

Does it feel good right now? No.

Is it possible that I could shift my own attitude, my own perspective, my own mind-set and my own energy to the point that I could actually be grateful for the current circumstances in my life?

Yes. It is possible.

Does that mean that I can consistently remain grateful and consistently be "in love with my life"?

No. It doesn't have to mean that. And...it doesn't have to be all the time that I feel either "blissful" or "in love with my life".

When we are "in love" with someone, does that feeling always prevail? No. It is usually or often the case. There is nothing -- really, nothing -- that is always one thing or the other, except for one thing: ENERGY.

ENERGY ALWAYS IS... EVERYTHING IS ENERGY. ENERGY NEVER DIES, IT JUST CHANGES FORM.

Sooo...how do I shift my perspective today? How do I see that all these circumstances that feel awful today are actually wonderful today?

First: I turn my focus to what I DO HAVE and away from whatever I DO NOT HAVE.

So here's the list of what I do have: I'm healthy, I have high energy, I have good and loving friends and family, I have several communities of which I am a part and which honor and embrace me, I have several talents which I have developed which I use for the purpose of being of service to others, receiving much satisfaction and acknowledgments. I have a coaching practice which is busy and I enjoy the satisfaction of being of service to my clients. I am a busy public speaker and I enjoy the satisfaction of being of service to others. I have friends and clients who support my needs, like maintaining my car, cutting my hair, cleaning my apartment, giving me massages, organizing my stuff, giving me technical support with my computer and my work.

Second: I acknowledge myself for all the ways in which I have created the results in my life which I do love.

Third: I acknowledge the blessing for the various circumstances which are challenging for me, willing to see the gift that resides within each of these challenges. For example, my financial status does not need to remain in a perpetual state of being "broke". It is something which I can continue to work toward mastery and abundance. Also, my "alone" status may well be something which I have unconsciously created for myself; I owe it to myself to embrace the solitude and enjoy the benefits of being independent and free for the first time in four decades. I can then remind myself that "when I stop needing what I want, I will be ready to receive what I want". I have a choice of trusting that this is a generous universe that wants nothing more than for me to be happy, joyful, loving, and in a relationship with a partner in which I can share all that I am and dream of being.

Right now, at this moment, I am willing to own the fact that I have created my current results. If I have indeed created them, I can also bless them. Also, if I have created these results, I am also capable of creating different results, if I don't like these.

Ok. I get it. I'm "in love" with my life, because I am the creator of it.

Thank you!

Blessings
Sheila