SHOUTING AT THE MOON

A GIFT IN EVERYTHING

Rhonda Byrne, creator of “The Secret” writes: "Look for the gifts in everything, especially when you are facing what appears to be a negative situation. Everything that we attract causes us to grow, which means that ultimately everything is for our own good.... Adjusting to a new path and a new direction will require new qualities and strengths, and these qualities are always exactly what we need to acquire in order to accomplish the great things ahead in our life.”

Do you find yourself shouting at the moon: “Why me?!?” Or...even shouting at God: “How could you do this to us?!?!” If we live from the perspective that we live in a universe in which the so-called “good” people (you and me) are rewarded and the so-called “bad” people (them) are punished by a force or a God that doles out the rewards and punishments, then it is understandable that we are often found shouting at the moon or shouting at God when we are faced with difficult and painful circumstances.

“Why would God let this horrible thing happen to me?” is the kind of question many of us may ask, when we are in abject pain and needing to blame something, someone, as we grapple with the frustration and confusion of feeling that life's challenges and pains are “unfair” and “cruel”.

When our relationship with God is on the basis of a business deal, in which we have promised to be good, in return for which we believe that God will take care of us by sparing us the pain and suffering of life, then we can feel let down – even betrayed – by God or the Universe.

However, if we can expand our relationship with God or the Universe to include the notion that everything that happens in our life is some form of blessing, and that God or the Universe wants only the best of what life has to offer, then even the toughest of trials and difficulties takes on another dimension.

Byron Katie, in her book Loving What Is, muses that every time we spend any time or attention on wishing that something be something else, we lose. It is important to be willing to face what is right in front of us, and to ask the question: How can I make this a blessing and not a curse?

I maintain that Life is not unfair. Life just is. The way we each handle life is what makes the difference. It might appear that some people are holding a shitty deck of cards, while others are holding all the good ones. But whatever that hand is, we have learned that the game isn't necessarily won by the person who holds the best cards...right? It's all in how the cards are played.

I've often heard the story of Hershel, a man who had survived the Holocaust during World War II, endured the horrors of the death camps, watched his entire family be taken away and slaughtered, but he survived it all. Hershel scraped and clawed his way to freedom, barely alive in Auchwitz when the American troups liberated the camps in 1945. He struggled to survive, to live and to thrive. He found his way to America. Shortly after arriving in New York in 1947, after the war and after his liberation, Hershel was walking across Third Avenue and was hit by a bus and killed immediately. “Why would God let this happen to this poor man, who struggled so mightily to survive, only to be killed by a bus in NYC!?!?”

God wasn't driving the bus. Sam was driving the bus. Sam didn't see Hershel crossing the street...

Was all of Hershel's struggle to live in vain? I don't think so. His struggle and his persistence was part of his journey, and Hershel had also become a source of inspiration to hundreds of others around Hershel who were witness to his grit and persistence.

Everything is energy. We are all connected. We are each a part of one another, in more ways than we can every know.

Life is not about the destination, nor is it about how many years we live. It is always about the journey. It is about the little details of the steps we take along the path. It is about the choices we make inside each and every moment of our daily path called life. It is about how we define ourselves in our loving relationships with others, and with ourselves.

When we love someone, we want to have that person in our life always, don't we? But what is “always”... Take the word apart: “ALL...WAYS”... And how many ways can we love?

We love most fully when we simply love what is.

Blessings
Sheila

"I'm in So Much Pain!"

As you follow this blog, you will notice that my ongoing theme is "There is a gift in every aspect of our lives, and the bigger the difficulty, the bigger the gift!"

I understand that it is annoying if not impossible to hear that, as we are in the midst of great pain and suffering. Who wants to be told that this pain or this heart-break is any kind of "gift"?!

Nonetheless, that is what I am saying. Nonetheless, that is what I have experienced myself, in my life. Nonetheless, that is what I have witnessed with others I encounter all around me, whether it is friends and family, members of my various communities, and/or my dear clients.

The series of email communications is something that just occurred among members of a spiritual community to which I belong. To protect everyone's privacy, everyone but myself is designated with an initial letter: "G", "A", and "C"

This exchange is an example of a painful family situation for G, who had written for support and prayers from us in his group. "A" responded to G and I then responded to both "A" and "G". "C" responded to me.

This exchange is also an example of what I refer to as "wisdom conversations" - you and I have them all the time, if we just listen:


Dear Friends,
I hope this message finds each of You well. I am finding it difficult to write this message.
This weekend my father's health has taken a turn in a bad direction.

Although as of 5 days ago his vital signs were stable at a reasonable level & his long-term chronic illnesses are under control. Starting Friday he began to refuse food. Saturday he began to give us a hard time taking fluids. He fights us when we try to give him his absolutely essential meds. As a result his well-regulated blood pressure has soared to dangerous highs. We sneak meds into everything we can but it's difficult. As I write this the pressure is climbing again.

We are fearing the worst since we've been told these are symptoms of a terminal patient nearing the end. Yet that seems crazy since we gotten a clean bill of heath so recently.

I am feeling a cacophony of emotions and I am no master of the language of emotion. So I am reaching out. I am not sure what I want or what I need. I just feel I had to say something. I don't have to have every answer. I want him to stay. I don't want him to suffer. Until now these 2 ends complimented each other. Now I don't know.

Thanks 4 listening.
G
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Dearest G_____,

Ask a group like this and you will receive a flood of prayers and support like no other. I am so sorry to hear that you father is not doing well and hope that his suffering can improve.You are loved and your family will be held in our thoughts and prayers.

The conflict you describe so eloquently is hard to imagine.As you continue to need support, do not hesitate to ask and friends will appear in a flash.

Much love and peace to you brother G____ at this very difficult time.
We are here with you.

Love,
A
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Hello dear G_____,

I know we are "all one" so that when I speak to you, I speak to us all and to myself as well...

You may or may not be aware that I have walked a similar path both with my dear husband (who passed in 2005) and with my dear mother (who has been in a nursing home since March 09)...

As difficult and painful as this is for you and all of your loved ones, I want to suggest that all of it is "perfect" (not pleasant) and part of your collective opportunity to honor life, experience a part of yourselves and your own consciousness which is being invited by this heart-wrenching situation for your dear father and all who love him.As one of my healing teachers said to me: "the physical is the least of it all"...and it looks like it is the most of it all...

In the process of the struggle and "doing whatever it takes" to maintain life and the quality of life, we are each faced with moment-to-moment existential issues and emotional challenges: "why this?" and "this isn't fair" and "no-one should have to go through this!"...and yet...life is neither fair nor unfair.

Life just is.

It is how we respond to it that defines each moment...

In the midst of my husband's long illness, I discovered a whole new world of myself that was being invited to an "impossible" situation. I discovered strength and love and internal grit I didn't know was there. I also discovered a world of loving caregivers and friends and family who surrounded my husband and me with support and emotional sustenance.

Most of all, I discovered a world of soul connection and spirit-to-spirit communication which has taught me that whatever is happening on the physical level of life is a tip of the ice burg of what the total "reality" is for us all...

In Neale Donald Walsch's book "Home with God" he gives us the broader picture: he calls "continuation day" that time when the physical form returns to source... All that we are experiencing here and now in our physical condition is a small part of the greater reality of ourselves as spiritual beings...

If your emotional language is limited for you, this experience can stretch you in the same moments you are being fully present to your father and his many needs...

More than you could know, my heart is with you, and I am sending the intention of joyful acceptance of all that is the "what's so" for you and your father.

After you have fought all the battles, asked all the questions, done everything possible to support homeostasis and comfort for your father, what he needs most from you is your presence: being fully present to him and with him, without judging his situation...

That will be the most healing energy you can offer him...

With love and blessings
Sheila Pearl
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Dearest Sheila,

I just had to let you know that I find your words are so loving, comforting and insightful.

Thank you for sharing them with us all.

Love,
C
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Dear Sheila

Thank You for all of your kind words.

I find I never know how many similarities exist between our stories until something like this happens. At the same time, acknowledging these same similarities makes it easier to walk the tightrope between hope, fear, and facts.

Thanks again!
G

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In each of our painful situations, there is a gift at the core of it. Keep looking for it. It is there!

With love and blessings
Sheila